Monday, April 9, 2012

Getting Back to Business

Whew! I cannot lie and say that coming back after Spring break has not been hard. The first day of school was AMAZING! It's getting back to blogging that is proving to be a bit of a challenge for me. I had some great ideas to mention earlier today but taking into account my short term memory hiccups due to juggling a million things and a million hormones roaming through my body...I have completely forgotten them.

The kids were excited to get back to school this week. They had a fun-filled Spring break which included two egg hunts, a sleep over, some thrift store hunting, plenty of bike riding and I cant even remember what else, still to hear them after climbing into the car as we were leaving my Mother's house say, "tomorrow's Monday, back to home school." Trust me, it didn't sound as dreadful as it may read. It made me excited for a couple of reasons; 1) it lets me know that our school has enough structure that they realize that we don't just stay home all day to play and be with Mommy but that it actually really is school. That's especially important because, as many of you know, I took Madison out of school during the middle of the year and I did not want to take it lightly. I didn't want to "say" I was home schooling but I actually really want to continue my children's education and feed their passions.

Also on my walk tonight, I had a huge dialogue going on in my head about what type of example am I being to my kids. I'd gotten up at 6am to walk . I was able to be there as the neighborhood woke up from it's slumber. Owners had let their dogs out (without a leash), husbands were leaving for work, cars were warming up in their driveways and then...the wives began to step out of their homes. Nicely dressed, coffee in hand, heels clicking as they made their way down the drive to hop into their vehicles to do whatever glamorous thing it is that they do. And for a second, I was a little...jealous. So much so that during my 6pm walk, I was still thinking about it. I was wondering what type of example am I being for my girls by staying home everyday. Sure teaching is truly its own reward. Especially when the teacher is Mommy, I honestly could not feel more honor and satisfaction from what I do BUT today, my thoughts were of my girls' future, their career choices and if they'd choose to work outside of the the home and if they wouldn't choose to do so. What would that mean for them? I came inside after coming to the conclusion that we as people have to choose what is important to us. To some women, Mothers, it is important to have a career, to climb the others, it is important to be there; to instill value in our girls and boys, to protect them, to love them, to shape and mold them. So then, I had to ask myself that question...what is important to me?? I recognized that in that moment I was dealing with the feeling of "self-importance". Having a career and leaving my kids everyday is no more appealing to me than a banana that has been picked over in the fruit bowl until it has turned brown and mushy.

I love my kids and want the absolute best for them but beyond that (yes, there is a beyond that) I want to GIVE them my best!! Every single day of my life, I endeavor to be my best and give my best to my girls. They didn't asked to be here, I asked for them to come here and it is my plan to teach them all I can and to shower them with as much affection as my heart can give. I'll let you know how that all works out. :) Later.

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